So Good and No Good

Made vegan "brownies" yesterday night.  I use the term "brownies" loosely here, since what they ended up as would be more accurately described as "goop".  Goop that turned rock hard overnight and is still soaking in my sink, after a day of sporadic scrubbing.  I have experienced my first vegan baking epic failure, which, considering the perils of the "V" word in one's own kitchen and that I've been playing with fire for a couple months now, ain't so bad.

While my brownies soak in the sink, I overindulge in delicious vegan strawberry cupcakes.

They're based on this recipe and this recipe, which together, produced one delicious offspring.

Strawberry Redemption Cupcakes

Makes 24 regular and 12 mini cupcakes

2 1/8 c white flour
1 c unrefined sugar
1 tsp salt
2.5 tsp baking powder

2 tsp vanilla extract
1.5 c strawberry puree
1/4 c applesauce
1/2 c oil
1.5 c faux milk (I don't plan very well, so I used both soy and almond)

Mix the dry stuff.  Throw in the wet stuff and mix with a mixer.  Bake at 350 for 20 minutes, or until the tops have fallen (I can't get my cupcakes tops to convex like non-vegan ones do.  Though delicious, all of my precious cakes have ended up looking deflated, drawing skepticism from my test subjects family and friends. Working on it.)

For the top, I made a thick, simple powdered sugar glaze (about 1/2 c sugar to 1 tsp soy milk with a bit of vanilla), and hid the aforementioned awkward dimple with some strawberry for looks.

These may be my favorite yet (don't tell the carrot cakes).

Mac Daddy and Cupcake

The Lemon Fairy Godmother brought AMAZING lemon bread to work today, so I was inspired to forgo a day of my month of hot yoga (thank you, Groupon) in favor of baking and consuming a bunch of stuff.  I'll sweat it all out tomorrow.

I came home determined to make mac and cheese... from scratch: a task often attempted and never succeeded.  Bechamel, why didn't anyone tell me about you before now?  You're the answer to so many prayers.

First things first.
Pour a glass of red wine.  Add 2 OJ ice cubes.  Instant sangria.

Shred an 8 oz block of sharp cheddar cheese.  Coarsely chop 1 Anaheim pepper and 1 medium jalapeno (removing as much of the rind as you want), a little more finely for the jalapeno. Start cooking 2.5 c your favorite shaped pasta (I used some whole wheat small shells I had in the pantry).

Melt 2 tbsp butter in a saucepan.  Whisk in 2 tbsp flour until incorporated.  Cook it for a bit, until all bubbly.  Add 1 c milk (or heavy cream; nobody's looking) and about 2 tbsp hot sauce of choice. Incorporate.  Add most of the cheese, taking into account how much you've snacked on (tilting your head back and dropping handfuls into your wide-open mouth; crumbles of cheese falling onto the floor, salivary glands bursting, and face turned to an expression of bliss, forgetting where and who you are for that moment of cheese ecstasy... where was I?) and reserving some to sprinkle on top when baking.  Once that's smooth, mix the cheese sauce with the finished pasta and the peppers in a casserole (I'd say mine's about 1.5 qt).  Sprinkle remaining cheese (if any) and bread crumbs on top, and cook at 350 for 20-30 minutes.

The only thing I would have done differently is saute the peppers a bit before adding to the pasta, just enough to soften them up.

Doused in more of aforementioned hot sauce, this is stupid good.

Part two of this double feature was "Carrot Cupcake, Part 2: This Time... It's Vegan."  A little burned, but it was vegan all the way, with Tofutti and Earth Balance "cream cheese" frosting... and not so charred that I didn't eat 2.5 of them before going to bed.  I mean, 1.

I've been vegetarian for a little over a year now.

People always say* "Be careful, vegetarianism is the gateway drug.  It just makes it easier to start the harder stuff."
*I have never heard anyone say this

Well, it turns out it's true.

And it turns out I am a vegan baking prodigy.

It all started two weeks ago when I made brownies for a Cinco de Mayo party.  I had read online that 1 tbsp ground flax seed, mixed with 3 tbsp water was an option for eggless baked goods, so I thought I'd give it a shot on a pan of brownies (then added 2 tbsp of cinnamon and 1 tbsp of chili powder... no margaritas were harmed in the making of these brownies).  Though technically not vegan (the base was a non-vegan, boxed mix), those gooey, chocolatey squares got rave reviews for the brief period before they had all been nom'ed.  Friends who perpetually turn their nose up at any mention of less meat, faux meat, or vegan options scarfed my brownies faster than my roommate's boyfriend's (by all accounts delicious) queso con carne.

Emboldened, I attempted carrot cupcakes (based on a recipe on my bag of flour).

And they were awesome.

Mix:
1/2 c brown sugar
1/2 c sugar
1/2 c oil
2 flax eggs (1 flax egg = 1 tbsp ground flax seed... coffee grinder works great... mixed with 3 tbsp water until viscous)
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp clove
1/2 tsp nutmeg

Then add:
1 c flour
1 c grated carrot
1/2 c chopped walnuts
10 oz crushed pineapple, drained (I was really surprised by the pineapple, but it made a great addition)
1/2 c raisins (I hydrated the raisins a bit in warm water first)
3/4 tsp baking soda
2 tsp baking powder

Bake @ 350 about 15 minutes, or until done.

I cheated on the cream cheese frosting, but even without, these were pretty delicious.

I made some oatmeal raisin cookies tonight, and they're good, but I wouldn't be able to trick my vegan non-believer friends into trying them without coercion.  After the brownies on Cinco were all gone, I was like "It's vegan, SUCKAS." The revelation was followed by shock and awe.  And those cupcakes... damn.  Cookies require legit margarine, none of this straight vegetable oil (as in today's attempt), and none of this "50% vegetable oil" stuff at the Food City.

Well, damn.

Yesterday, I got a per diem reimbursement check for a trip I took for work about a month ago.

So, naturally, I went grocery shopping.

It's been a financially tight couple of weeks, so I've been working away at the apocalypse stash in my pantry.  It's been one of those weeks when I grudgingly take up the Kraft mac & cheese, canned/dried soups, and other miscellaneous food-esque items in my pantry, from which I turn away in disdain when my fridge and fruit basket are fully stocked.  I've treated myself to a couple of Taco Bell bean burritos (veggies and vegans rejoice, Taco Bell refried beans are totally animal-product-free... and those perfect portion burritos are only $0.99!), but other than that, it's been an exercise of creative meal planning (I use the word "meal" loosely here).

So, I went to Safeway (Sorry, farmer's market.  Impulse grocery shopping), and between picking up the cheese and the veggies and the juice, I came across their fresh(ish) soups.

One side effect of my vegetarianism has been cooking a lot more things from scratch, or close to it.  I never wanted to stop eating meat and start subsisting on aforementioned bunker diet.  However, like so many of my peers, I'm a busy girl, and I need that "long day" stash.  

So, refrigerated soups.  It seemed like the perfect merging of fresh and prepared.  I grabbed one (sweet corn chowder), checked the ingredients for hidden bacon bits and chicken broth, and tossed it in my basket.  I saw the price (SALE! 2 for $5!), and grabbed another (tomato basil bisque).

I finished up my shopping with that spring in my step that only comes between the famine and imminent feast, lightly swinging my basket and almost humming to myself as a character somewhere between Mary Tyler Moore and Little Red Riding Hood. 

Today I got home, freed my sore feet of business casual shoes, and cracked open the fridge to be greeted by those soups.  

Tomato basil bisque.  Perfect.  You'll be delicious with the baguette and shredded mozz I also adopted yesterday.

As my soup is warming, my bread is toasting, and my mouth is salivating, I glance at the ingredients.  What's the very first listed?

Chicken broth.

Damnit.

Ok.  Now what.  I bought it.  I already promoted the production of this product.  And it's already opened and half in my microwave; I can't return it.

So I ate it.

I am perplexed by the insistence on chicken broth as the base of virtually every commercial soup.  Vegetable broth is just as good, and I don't know of any segment of the population who is making a serious ideal- or health-based choice to stop eating vegetables.

Why chicken broth in a soup that otherwise depends on veggies for flavor and identity?  Come on, Safeway.  There's something wrong about making a hearty vegetable soup and slipping in meat juice.  Like you're hiding the peas in my mashed potatoes, only I am morally opposed to peas.

And does this make me a traitor?  Does this negate the last few months of abstaining from meat?  Just last week, I wrote about my meatless months.  Even more recently, I was talking to a friend about the trial run of meat-free living he is taking and how happy I am with the past few months.

Damn.  

As I try to remind myself in all areas of life: we are not perfect, but we do our best.

And now we read our pre-prepared food labels more carefully.

Meat-Free Matey

"You know, I think I want to stop eating meat."

"You're going to be a vegetarian?"

"Yeah, I guess.  I just don't want to eat meat anymore."

"I think you've done this, like, every year we've lived together." (four)

"I know... but I think I mean it this time.  I think it'll stick."

That's how the conversation went when I told my roommate I wanted to stop eating meat.  I have now been meat-free for about five months.

It was rough at first, but when I step back and assess myself, the takeaway is always one of a stronger sense of well-being.  Physically, I feel lighter and cleaner than I felt when I ate meat, and I don't suffer from the cheeseburger guilt I once did.

I've dabbled in vegetarianism for as long as I can remember, from as young as 11 or 12 (initially lasting about a week) to last year's month-long stint.

I've felt what can best be described as a lingering ickyness about consuming animal flesh, but it wasn't until I watched Food, Inc. and started reading things about the environmental impact of meat consumption that I officially flipped the switch.  I sum it up with a principle of "net good", that is, am I doing more good on this earth than I am doing harm?  I sometimes consider myself born into karma debt: a stable, loving family; no physical or mental deficiencies to speak of; consistent comfort and relative happiness... while so many people equally deserving go without these luxuries I consider normal.  So it's important for me to earn it.  I want to spend the majority of my life in the black.  I haven't gone vegan yet, but I haven't ruled it out.

It's not that I did't like meat.  I LOVED meat.  I loved cheeseburgers.  I loved chicken salad.  I CRAVE meat.  I crave the gross kind, primarily of the mystery variety.  Pepperoni is a big one.  Hot dogs, too.

It's that I can't escape one simple truth: we literally are what we eat.  My body is composed of the atoms I have consumed, in the form of plant and animal matter, for the past 23 years.  In their former life, these atoms were assembled under certain conditions, some of which I want no part in.  I morally can't detach myself from inhumane conditions under which these atoms were assembled, and I physically can't escape the chemicals and other modifications that hitch a ride on these complexly arranged atoms to the construction of my tangible presence.  It's not good for me, it's not good for my fellow human beings, and it's not good for our Earth.  It's about living mindfully.  I am not meant to be a hot dog.  I don't want to be a hot dog.

The biggest challenge, honestly, is just keeping it real.  When I launch into an ethical explanation of why I won't eat meat, it sounds more than a little pompous.  Explaining a refusal of food with "I don't eat meat" or "Do you have a vegetarian option?" has an air of hipster detachment and self-elevation.  I hate that.  When someone extends what may be the most basic and universal of kind gestures (the offering of food) how can I graciously refuse?  It's so counter-intuitive to the net good principle.  If what I consider doing right by the world drives human beings apart... then it's a big fat fail.

Anyway, this casual personal choice (whim, perhaps?) now straddles the line between lifestyle and philosophical obsession.  Vegetarianism and Veganism present such a range of fascinating arguments, both for and against, and I love talking veg.

But for now, it's the vegetarian jokes ("I love animals... I just love eating them more!" "PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals") that help me live with the whole pompous thing.  So adding another to my arsenal is just as exciting as discovering a new preparation method for eggplant.

Who knows how long it'll last.  For now, however, I couldn't be happier to glut myself on spirited discussion, jokes, and meat substitutes.

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